A Thumb Through the Scum


Tuesday's was the usual run through the motions at the salt mines. Which meant I only had time to read the Scum. Well, maybe "read" isn't very accurate. It's really more like the words slide down the curvature of your eyeballs, like runny eggs. That comely visual aside, I guess it's nice that a populist rag rules the day, somewhere. I mean, I'm sure the Citizens of the World at the Old Grey Lunch Lady, The Washington Pox, and LA Slime and their blow-dried apes out there in Cable News hell, think of themselves as somehow "down with da peeps". No, that's not it. To understand what's going on in their pointy little noggings, we must turn to the words of Sir Humpherey,

Actually, it's only the urban middle class that worries about the countryside; because they don't have to live in it...

Grounded in this passing quip actually is the kernel of understanding that unlocks the seeming philosophical schizophrenia of the left. Champaigne Socialist and Caviar Commies rarely have have to root and nest in the aftermath of their well-wishing. Hence you start to understand why Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket vote Kerry, but go NIMBY when those wind farms start popping up. While on the otherhand, a 50% personal income tax is just all right if that ends up leaving you with with enough to not notice a change in your lifestyle. It's all academic then, really...

So we now return to the Columbia School Cartel that controls the legacy media. To them, Joe Sixpack and Sally Soccermom are the ignoble savages in their midst. And to "serve" them, they must "change" them. After all, change is the quintessence of "progress"(ivism).

Oh, yeah, the Scum.

Now don't get me wrong, the Scum is 90% bullshit like any other paper. But rather than being purely the bullshit elitists would have you ponder and swallow outright, it's bullshit that working people can relate too, sort. See, it has to do with the whole "class" system here in Britain. You know, the one that Marxism metastasized out of. The Telegraph is the suppsosedly the Queen's paper, The Gaurdian is apple of Academia's eye, and the unwashed masses supposedly get their sustenance from the Sun. It must be said though, that whomever the Scum backs, gets into No 10. So hence it's always worth a glance to see where the Pied Piper is leading proud Britainia next. So here's a little whiff of what that shit's like,

"Fag ban downturn for bingo"

Huhhuhhuh. Like that Fabian fuck Georgy-Porgy Shaw would tell you, "England and America are two countries divided by a common language"

"25Yr Tribute to Falkalnds"
A MAJOR clebration will be held next year to mark 25 years since the Falkland War... After the decision to keep our neukes and honour our forces with Veteran's Day, it marks a new era for New Labour... Margaret Thatcher was villified by many Labour MPs for standing up to an Argy dictator... Let's hope it won't take another 25 years before they give Tony Blair similar credit for his courage in Iraq

What the hell is an "Argy" dictator?

"Can't Read. Can't Count.
MORE than a quarter of pupils can't read proerly by second year of secondary school, Executive figures revealed. Only 71 per cent of S2 pupils hit the required standard and less than half- just 49% were ranked as "well established"... Shadow education minister Fiona Hyslop of the SNP called the statistics "extemely worrying"... James Douglas-Hamilton of the Tories added, "These statistices do not make pleasent reading for anyone... The Executive is still failing to plug the opportunity gap."

But one thing we can all agree upon is this: Government is the solution. Actually I only mentioned this article because I know the people quoted vaguely. I only know Hyslop because if I saw her in a dark alley I'd turn and run the other way for fear the boogy man had came to life. And "Lord" Douglas-Hamilton is a fucking pimp in his own Rhyme, like Eightball would tell ya. Seriously though, he's such a sweet and charming man was always so kind to me when I interned at the Parliament. He used to have to sign me in, occasionally, but was always gracious about it and never acted like he was fussed to sign in another MSP's flunkeeintern. He's the quintessence of what's to like about the upper class.

"Tory fury at "'Soviet Scotland'"
SCOTLAND'S state-run ecnomy is bigger than Communist dictatorships in the old Soviet Bloc, a top Tory claimed last night. Dep. leader Murdo Fraser made the comment... "Public spending in Scotland now accounts for a greater percentage of GDP than in old Soviet bloc states including Hungary and Poland... The bigger the state sector gets, the more the workers have to pay for it, and it's a vicious cycle sending our country towards economic ruin."

Speaking of interning for Tories. When's the last time any Republican "leader" said these words and meant it?

Right to KO euro
BRITAIN was RIGHT not to join the Euro, a report said yesterday.... The findings come as a spereate report come as a seperate report shows exports to the eurozone up seven percent since 1999... We would not have low unemployement and a record 14 years growth.

Not so fast...



And yes, that is a really great fucking rack.